Language

"I'm not going to. It's stupid." No happy mood this morning. Even the frosty the snowman sweatshirt didn't do it. Daddy commented on it, and all she said was "Is too, you're a naughty boy." Oh well. Aside from putting her pajamas in the hamper instead of under her pillow, she did everything quickly and on her own this morning. On the way out the door she was continuing her morning commentary "It's bad. Not going. I hate it. It's my birthday, not your birthday." That's kind of what she sounded like all morning. Maybe it's just trying to get back in the swing of things after the holiday break. Her brothers didn't hardly talk at all all morning, but their expressions were very similar to hers.

Yesterday after school she put her backpack away and then went in to use the restroom, as usual. I was a bit busy and forgot to go check on her. I think she stayed in there for about 45 minutes before I realized she hadn't come out. As soon as I reminded her that she needed to finish up she did, but I wonder how long she would have sat in there if I hadn't told her to come out. She got out a lot of books and sorted them onto the end of her bed and then decided to sit down and look at them. She hadn't really left herself any room to sit, so she kind of balanced on about 3 or 4 inches on the corner of the bed while she looked at them. I realized it was starting to get dark and she hadn't turned her light on, so I went in to see what she was up to. I turned her light on and was going to move her books over so she had room to sit, but she REALLY didn't want me to. So I didn't. A half hour later she was still balancing precariously on the corner of her bed. That can't possibly be comfortable, but she objected to any change (This is one reason why her muscles are so much more amazing than mine, by the way). When I called her to come in for dinner she came right away, which is unusual. I usually have to repeat myself or go get her. Maybe she was just unwilling to admit she was uncomfortable, but welcomed the opportunity to move.

We spent some time as a family, reading and talking and eating pie and cookies. We went over the week's schedule and realized it's going to be rather hectic. I guess that's what happens in November and December. I'm looking forward to it, though.

A note on language: If you're a fan of Star Trek (and yes, we're geeks at our house), there is an episode in The Next Generation where Picard gets taken to a planet with one other alien and the two of them learn to communicate. The alien speaks in similes and metaphors, and until they have common experiences they can't communicate with each other (the specific episode is called "Darmok" and it's episode 2 of season 5 -- I did have to look it up, I'm not that much of a geek). That's what communicating with Rachel is like. You have to know what specific words mean to her. You have to know if they have a negative or positive meaning to them, as well as memories associated with them. Then you have to listen to intonation and see her expression, as well as hear the words, to understand her. "It's my birthday" said with a happy tone of voice and expression means something like "I'm happy, things are as they should be, I'm getting the attention I want." When it's said sadly, it's more of a "I was supposed to be happy, but I'm not. I'm either not feeling well or you're not doing what I want or something didn't happen that I wanted to have happen." When it's said accusingly it means "I'm not happy, and you should be fixing that." All of these, of course, with variations. A few weeks ago we went to Costco to buy some groceries. She loves to talk about going to Costco, but she only really enjoys it about half the time. When we go, we try and guess what her mood is and take her or leave her home accordingly. This time it seemed like she'd have fun, so we took her. She was not happy. We really weren't there very long, and we were able to look at some fun things that she normally would have liked, but it just didn't go well. On the way out to the car, she suddenly burst into tears. Between her sobs she yelled "Santa Claus bit me!" I was tempted to look on the light side of this experience (boy did we get a few strange looks) and just laugh it off, but I couldn't. She LOVES Santa Claus. He is the epitome of all that is fun to her. I think she was saying, in the only way she can "this was supposed to be really fun and awesome and for some reason it hurt me instead and I am really disappointed about that and possibly in pain." I wish I could ask for more details. I don't know if she physically hurt in some way (maybe a headache?) or if she was just in a bad mood so it wasn't as fun as she wanted, or what. I get little glimpses into her head if I think about it hard enough, but never any of the details. I'm learning to be bilingual. Slowly. A dictionary or teacher would really help.