When my oldest son was two or so, a well meaning acquaintance told me about her amazing sister-in-law who had potty trained her child in an afternoon. This acquaintance went on and on about how her sister-in-law was going to write a book and if everyone would just follow it, all children would be potty trained in an afternoon before the age of two (that wasn't even an exaggeration). Advice is wonderful, but unfortunately what works great for one person doesn't work at all for someone else. What works superbly one day might fail horribly the next. I don't know of any parent who hasn't figured that out eventually. I have so appreciated opportunities to talk with other parents to compare notes. I've found that the more information I have to sort through, the better the chance is that I'll come up with something that works at least for awhile. It reminds me of a math equation. I take the advice that sounds like the best fit, take out the parts that don't sound right, add pieces of advice from other people, tweak it to fit our specific needs and abilities, and try it out. The thing I absolutely loved about math was that it was right or wrong, and it was always possible to "get it right." So maybe this is more like a scientific hypothesis where you have to keep working at it until you can "prove" it, although admittedly someone else might come along behind you and prove you wrong. That's definitely a better analogy.
Lately Rachel's hands have been more "claw-like" and her involuntary head movements remind me a little of someone who has cerebral palsy (although my information about that particular disability is very limited). Her moody teenager attitude makes me think she has difficulties with hormones. She bursts into tears frequently and speaks irrationally. I have learned to deal with her mild epilepsy and her moderate autism and her mental disabilities. It is apparently time to start amassing more information so that I can come up with my new equation and put it to the test.
When I took the tests in high school that were supposed to help me figure out what I would be best at as an adult, one of the things that came up was rocket science (really). Another was medicine with an emphasis in research. I ended up getting my degree in elementary education, but it seems that I'm doing some minimal medical research after all. I hope the test was right that I'll be good at it. School was so much easier, but the rewards weren't as good. I'd trade all my A's for a handful of smiles and hugs and the knowledge that my children are happy.
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